


Oblivion

by LittleSilverBirds



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:25:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSilverBirds/pseuds/LittleSilverBirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My friend wrote this ages ago, and just dredged it up in a routine dredge. Reverse!Verse with Angel!Dean and Hunter!Cas and I'm posting with permission</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oblivion

Cas knew he had to, but he didnt want to say goodbye yet. He knew Dean had duties, he couldnt stay with him forever even though he was always the rebelious one. They met by chance, Cas was the hunter wrong place wrong time and Dean was that godsend, literally, who pulled his sorry ass outta there before it got too bad.  
They agreed a place and a time, out in a field near the edge of town where the barley grew up to their hips. Cas drove his Chevy Nova out there, waited at the edge of that field until he heard the whisper of a breeze behind him and sensed a presence that wasnt there before.  
"You came," he said without turning round.   
"I always come when you call." was Deans reply, and it almost hurt him to hear it. Because he wouldnt, couldnt, come all the time anymore. Maybe he'd see him once every few months, a couple times a year, but not as often as he wanted, needed.  
He started the walk to the middle of the golden field, treading a path through the swaying stalks of barley with Dean following quietly behind, as always. He felt a brush of fingers, a hand slotting itself into his own with fingers weaving together. Cas never thought he'd ever do that, but then this was an occasion.   
Being an angel Dean never really had a firm grip on human emotion, but he definitelly had a strong attachment to this one human. Something that wound around his Grace and kept tugging him back to him time and time again, no matter how hard he tried to divorce himself from feeling anything there was always this for Cas. For some reason it made him want to always be touching Cas, placing a hand on his arm, his back, hold him close and protect him from every one of his Fathers world's evils and make sure he was always his.  
Thats the thing that bothered him, the fact he wanted to keep him close. To make sure everything and everyone knew that this human was his human. But he had to control himself. He was much, much stronger than Cas was and had to make sure he always used the lightest of touches with him, like a feather brushing on skin, no matter how Cas told him it was okay to exert more pressure.  
His mind couldnt comprehend the pure need he felt for Cas, that every time he was away he had to force himself to push Cas to the back of his mind and focus on the task at hand. Emotions. They alluded him in some respects, but not in this, not with Cas teaching him slowly. He would say he was heartbroken to be leaving Cas now, but he wasnt sure.   
Now, he was simply content to slip his hand into Cas' and hold it, brushing a thumb over the rough skin on the back of his hand. Oh, the scars he felt there. Years of the hunt taking their toll on the fragile human body his bright, bright soul inhabited. Dean never could quite understand how a soul as vivid and vibrant as his could fit into such an ordinary vessel, a vessel that as beautiful as it was could not show the true iridescence of him.  
"I hope you understand that I didnt choose to leave."  
Cas nodded once, "I do. I know its not your choice, you've got duties upstairs to do."  
Dean cocked his head, he never understood the strange terminology Cas used sometimes. For a change, he felt a smile creeping upon his face. A strange sensation of his vessels facial muscles pulling and contracting to shape his mouth into an upward curve and stretch the lips into thin lines, peeling them back from his teeth slightly.  
Cas thought he looked even better when he smiled, lit with the slowly setting sun behind their backs casting a golden glow over the hill. He looked like, had fate chosen differently, he could have been a hunter too, instead of an angel. That his vessel would be his own body, not borrowed. How he would've liked that. To be free from his duties to live and work with Cas by his side answering only to himself.  
Deans other hand lifted and combed through Cas' hair, sliding down to cup the back of his neck gently, feather light as always. His thumb brushed the strong jawline he had memorized, permanently in his mind he was sure he would never forget. He drew their foreheads together and let out a sigh, he'd picked up so many human traits since meeting Cas, this human that had somehow captured his affection in threads of different colours and spun a web around his very being so that he was unable to escape even for a moment.  
He thought he would dislike the emotions and feeling, but he didnt. Not when it came to Cas. Nothing compared to it.  
It was like looking through a cracked window of a church, the stained glass sending many thousands of different patterns of light out from them and shining bright in the evening sunset. Scarlet, amber, saphire, emerald and clear, brilliant diamond white. He never wanted to forget how they looked, how they felt.  
Dean closed his eyes and looked into Cas' mind, just the surface. So much emotional turmoil rolled on the surface like a choppy sea. Sadness and possibly anger that Dean was leaving, but underneath it all, hope. Hope that he'd come back soon and see him again. Hope that he'd remember, and still feel the same. Hope that maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to stay.  
The smile slipped from his lips, a deep frown replacing it. He didnt want to give him false hope, but he didnt want him to lose that true hope either. He was stuck between a lie and the truth he knew would hurt.  
"You know I cant stay." he whispered into the space between them, "I am sorry."  
As Cas sighed he felt the hope flicker a little, but it didnt die. It remained there, still crackling under the surface like a fire behind a grate. "I know. I just thought..."  
Cas covered Deans hand with his own and leaned into his touch, forcing the palm to his skin where it had been hovering a moment ago. To be honest, Dean felt some relief at the contact. He wanted to touch him, but he was so obsessed with the idea he could hurt him he couldnt do more than skim his hands over his skin.  
"You thought my Father might have some mercy on me, on us." He flicked open his eyes, "It appears that isnt the case." Oh how he loved Cas' eyes, those bright blue orbs with darker blue flecks scattered inside them. He loved them with a burning passion. They reminded him of pure Grace when it is without a vessel, bright and shining with energy.  
But something wasnt right in them, they shone more than usual. The problem became clear when a droplet of moisture beaded in the corner of his eye and rolled down his cheek to drip from his chin to the dry ground below. Cas screwed his eyes shut, a few more tears fell. Dean had never cried, he didnt have the capacity, but he knew it was painful emotionally for humans to do. He dried Cas' cheeks with gentle fingertips, allowing more pressure than usual but only just.  
"Please, when I go, dont be beside yourself with grief, I know what you're like." That got a small twitch of a smile, "Go to Gabriel, dont be alone. And remember that hope."  
"Because if I'm alone I'll just drink myself into oblivion right? 'Cos I'm a stupid bastard."  
Dean let himself cup Cas' face in both hands, physical contact with Cas was easy like flying. It came naturally to him now. "No, not you. You're not stupid, far from it. You've done so much good, saved so many. The world cant thank you enough."  
He felt Cas press his lips lightly to the heel of his palm sending a tingle over his skin. He also felt an emotion leap out at him, several actually. Anger, sorrow and fear. It was only because of this he expected what happened next.  
"Then why isnt He letting you stay!?" Cas suddenly burst out, the tears fell still. Dean felt the need rise in his chest, the need to protect his small human. He wrapped his arms around Cas in the most comforting way he knew and let him bury his face on his shoulder. His hands feebly clasped at the loose black t-shirt he wore as he pressed himself closer.  
Dean pressed his face into Cas hair and inhaled his scent, a strange combination of watermelon and cinnamon, but it worked.  
"I dont know, but He has a reason. I will come back. I promise you this."  
Dean pulled back and gave Cas a look to show he meant it before kissing him on his much abused lips, chapped from biting and everything else.  
It was soft, but firm at the same time. How it was done, they didnt know, but it was good. The brush of a thumb on the rise of his cheekbone and a palm along his jaw. A hand pressing against his lower back, fingers splayed on his side. His hand cupping Deans neck, the other fisted in his shirt. And the kiss tasting of salt and hope.   
Thats what Cas would remember for the long months after Gabriel found him on his knees in the middle of an empty field alone with a broken heart.


End file.
